Rain
Your winter- sister hazel

Yea..i know i had not been consistent in updating my blog..Not that i lost all the enthusiast in blogging, not that fast...hehe. Had been out for the previous nites. Didn have enuff sleep for the past few days. I'm literally a panda now.

Tuesday was Odac retreat. Spent the nite in engin with skee, carol, yh, keith and weesim. Was talking to carol till 5am... I think i'll miss odac most when i'm over in canada. For the past one year in the comm, i think i learnt a lot of things in the outdoor aspects. I used to think that i can never do outdoor as well as others...used to think that i gotta be the hardcore kind...despite the fact that i'm lazy, used to think that i hated trekking. I tried out many things which i would probably never do if i wasn't in the comm, things like trekking, kayaking, windsurfing.... things like Race. Odac comm is always my 1st priority despite my heavy schedule. Yes, the sense of belonging is there but somehow, the bond among us is weak. Small cliques here and there. Yes, and i can't stand some guys in the comm too. But well, ppl like skee, sophy, carol, ting, vin,weizong, shuhong and yh made a difference to odac, a great place to share the love for the outdoors. Was quite tempted to the 20th comm although i did tell myself that 3rd year shd be dedicated to studies. But then again, there's exchange and other priorities that will keep me away for some time. Will show support to skee and her comm in some other ways when i'm back ;) I'm sure she'll make a great president, with lotsa enthusiast, passion and experiences ;) Go girl!

29th July was a combined bash organized by us together with NTU Odac and Smu extremists. Haven been clubbing for a year long. The last time i went was with kelly, wei and lily. This is only my 4th time clubbing. Previous 2 times was with sandeep and gang. I can't deny his influence on me, as much as i would want to, but there's a lot of things that i do, a lot of my current interests somehow just show the truth. Example is like the way i love to blast my music. Like goin clubbing. Not my interest. But i guess given my character, i would have strongly object to it with my previous mindset if not for him. My impression of clubbin was never good, even till now, it doesn improve much, but sometimes i do enjoy it...once in a while ;) He USED to be a reason why i applied for exchange too. I dun wanna lose out to him, cuz he can go for student conference in norway, got sponsored to switzerland, come back and dump me. I wanna prove to him he's not the priviledged one to do that. Yea, watever...headstrong or stupid or....watever.... that USED to be....not anymore. And i dun waste my time thinking bout these anymore.......just a thought, to remind me how i came this far ;)

Anyway, the bash was fabulous. Everyone was dressed up ;) skee in her nice zara floral print top, carol in her smashing tube, ting in her drop dead gorgeous pink top and white skirt, sophia with her sweet pink top and a natural blush on her face and zhu in her princess like pink dress ;). The guys were not bad too...weizong looked good in his pink shirt....vin was smart and cool in his 'sweet' pink top (as how ck puts it)...and for the 1st time ever, i saw ck in longs....haha. Linhao came along with his fren....hehe...thought they both looked a bit gay with the drowsy tipsy look :P oops... OH yea...and for the 1st time, i wore a tube....a 'sweet floral' one somemore. Was contemplating whether i shd just heck it, wear it or opt to be more ME instead. LIke wat wei said, if i never wear it that day...i will never wear it again. True enuff...that top's gonna be hidden for quite some time i guess.....haha....
Bash was at china black...a cool place, i love it. Music was not bad and the company was great. Clubbin, sometimes really open up ur eyes to things beyond the normal things u c. Ppl tend to behave differently.....wear differently.....sometimes with alcohol, it will go way way beyond the norm.

Dead tired when i was back. Was reading bout the umbrella story in the afternoon. Heard it again, with greater details. Thought bout the apple story. thought bout sotong, thought bout sandeep. It always happens at this time, this month during the year.....why, i wonder.

Rain
sweetest goodbye- maroon 5
 
of all days, it just have to rain today.....
I was in a terrible pathetic state today. Woke up at 12 cuz of the bash last nite....didn even feel like opening my eyes but no choice, i gotta clear a lot of stuff today! Martyn was suggesting y not i just laze ard till sunday....yea...i could do that too...but well, i promised mum to be back by today. Normally, i dun like breaking my promises to her, especially promises on goin back. Started packing...gosh....i really wonder why the hell did i have soooo much of stuff. Dad and mum came the other time to bring back a carload of my stuff and now i still have tonnes of them ard. My tatanka bag was filled to the top most. My back can just break by carrying it if not for the waist support. Worst still, i gotta lug this big eastpack hand carry. Believe me, it was really pathetic, even tho i took a cab...i swear!
 
But anyway, home sweet home...finally home....and guess wad....1st thing i did when i reach home.....fix my pc together again....haha...i'm deprived i think. Bought a watch for hao...his bdae is 3 days after mine...this imp....he is forever so thick skinned to request for a gift from me but never giving me anything :P
 
Was already 9 when i reached.....didn do much....lotsa things to update actually....for the past few days, lotsa thoughts....didn know how to start....one at a time....
 
It's 12am.....31st July 2004....my 22nd bdae...
One reason that I Wanna come back by today was becuz of my bdae...Wanna spend my bdae with my family. Did that for my 21st bdae too. Last year's bdae was spent at home too, with siao, mons and karwai. Recieved many bdae wishes, icq messages comin non stop....sophy, zhu, vin, ting and ck celebrated my bdae yesterday in sushi tei...Touched :) Guessed I'm really lucky....am always thankful that there's always someone ard to celebrate my bdae for me.....at least, since i was one, there had been a bdae cake every year...without fail...this had been my 22nd one :)
 
Still remembered how i felt for my 21st bdae. I was home, not becuz i genuinely wanna spend it with my family....i was running away from reality....i was trying to escape i think....trying to escape from disappointment. I can never forget what sandeep once used to tell me....he was the one who said that if u genuinely treat a fren, u'll remember the person's bdae...no matter wat.....he was the one who told me things that he would never do to his frens....he was the one who told me that he'll still care as a fren...he was the one who made a difference to my 20th bdae....and he was the one who turns against his words. On my 21st bdae, things were just getting better after breaking up with him for 3 months. I sweared to get him off my mind, but subconciously, i still wished that he cared. Was dreadful of a lonely bdae without him....was afraid of being disappointed again if he didn even bothered to call...home's the best place...at least i can tell myself that he can't reach me...so no matter whether he attempted....it wouldn made a difference.
 
It had been one year.....guessed i long thrown this person off my mind....he's a jerk i realised....anyway...not worth mentioning. For the past one year, I had been buryin myself with work and activities....one initial reason was to put everything behind me.....looking back, now it really doesn matter anymore. Got over everything, whether it's buried or hidden or gone...watever..at least it's over..that's wat i thought...or rather that's wat i hoped. No matter what's the initial reason, i guess the past one year had been really fruitful to me. This is the kinda life i want, this is me and my life, not sandeep and my life.
 
Just happened that my bdae always sorta coincide with the starting of a new academic year....Reflecting back, i realised that with him out of my life, it was actually a blessing in disguise. Had more time to think for myself, more time to do things that i like, more focus on other stuff, most importantly....realised when there's no attachment, more dreams tend to be realised. 
 
Bdaes are meant to be sweet, warm and fuzzy....looking forward to my long yearned dinner with mum, dad and hao....looking forward to a day to express my gratitude to mum for bringing me to this world, raising me up for the past 22 years......and will look forward to my dear mons, cat and sotong's call. Yea, and if that karwai ever remembered, longed to hear from him too ;)
 

Slight rain
one more for love- five for fighting
 
eyes struggling to keep it open. Was a very long day today...hehe....Retreat last nite....aww....it had been one year. Last meeting, last time together as a comm, last time discussin bout odac together..hmm.....well, about the comm, will talk bout it when i have more energy. thought everyone was staying over, in the end was just carol, skee, me, yonghui, keith and weesim till 5 am......carol and i chatted until 5, slept till 9, then all of us washed up and had mac breakfast :)
 
argh...think i better just sleep....i'm gonna be so dead tmr....gotta wake up at 7+.... manning booth from 8-2, then need to meet up martyn and weiwei, then gotta dress up a bit, meet race comm for dinner celebration, odac bash at nite....haiz...and to think that i thought i could have more time to myself after intern and race is over. I seemed to be busier. Wonder why.......
 
sleepy.....can sleep anytime...anywhere...anyhow...hehe...i'm mad

So much to say about the race. So much that i dunno where to start from.

The race ended beautifully. Tiring and small hiccups here and there but everything is simply fabulous. Cheerz to my beloved race comm: skee, sophy, tingz, vin and cheekong. It'd been an amazing journey together, working and planning together, cruising thru corners of singapore in these 6 months. I'm really proud to be a part of Race 2.

Was kinda discouraged the day before race cuz we only managed to get 8 teams for the race. No...it's not just bout the quantity, nor the popularity issue of the event. Disappointed cuz the chance to explore the other side of singapore didn extend to more. Personally, i seriously think that everything was just planned perfectly...the destinations, the tasks, the challenge. I realized there's more to Singapore than wat i thought. If only ppl out there give themselves a chance to experience it for themselves.

Among 8 teams, besides our own NUS ppl, there are a few teams from SP and SMU. I applaud all teams for their determination, perserverance and their never-say-die spirit despite being tired with bad physical conditions. Many interesting teams we met, but the best is of cuz our fav team: UNDEAD...haha..the team who keeps thinking that they play smart, not hard...This team went NTU on the very 1st nite of night cycling and they ended up with only 3 out of 8 checkpoints. A very bad headstart indeed..keep worrying bout being eliminated. Felt kinda sorry for them too....i didn expect them to win the race but I seriously wish that they can complete the whole race. 6 of us basically keep praying hard for Undead to come back 'undead' on the 2nd day of the race. They didn let us down. Made up for lotsa time they lost on the 1st nite. They didn get the top prize, but I guess for them, completing the race is already their biggest accomplishment. They kept themselves motivated with their hilarous motto, jokes and they can easily find fun out of anything they do. 1st team was erene's twin terror group......a very well prepared team...leading the race all the way, with their superb resourcefulness, physical fitness and wonderful team spirit. They are just the perfect combi....forever thinking ahead of others. haha.... I match-made qingquan, his fren together with skee's fren, meiting and bf. Very peculiar combi but they made it great anyway.

QingQuan msged me in the morn to thank me for matchmaking their team and the wonderful experience....said that he really enjoyed the race...every bit of it. was really perked up and encouraged by his words. But i would rather put it this way: He shd thank himself for giving himself this opportunity to participate in the race with someone that he doesn know beforehand....thank himself for giving it all for the race...thank himself for the great experience he allowed himself to have. Yes, it's a matter of choice. And he made the choice for it.

I'm amazed at the dedication and unity of Odacians for the event.....the fact that they are willing to make time out for the event, spend 4-5 hours at their respective checkpoints waiting for teams to come despite the ulu location and insect bites. And of cuz, our very own race comm...it'd really been great working with this bunch of ppl. Sometimes i really wonder, what is it in the comm that kept me motivated, that made me never sick of the lengthy meetings, never complain bout the things that i have to do and the large amount of time depleted off my personal time and of cuz, that which made me give my utmost priority to make the event a success. Besides the passion for amazing race, i guess they are the reason.

meetings after meetings, countless recces, sleepless nights during the race......Somebody once asked me....what do i get out of this? money? points?
I didn really bother explaining much cuz guess the person wouldn understand it anyway.
There are certain things that you do out of passion without asking for return...certain things that you do cuz of commitment...certain things that u will only know WHY when u walked thru the same path....certain things that u'll gain without realizing it cuz it doesn come in form of physical materials but in the most invaluable form of lessons, experiences and memories. To me, these are the essence of the best things in life.

Race 2 is amazing cuz of the amazing people, amazing experiences, amazing lessons and amazing memories.

 

Blue skies with white fluffy clouds
she will be loved- Maroon Five
 
Feels great to just laze in bed.
Feels great to just chill in my room with the music.
Feels great to take my own sweet time.
 
Supposed to do a lot of things today but ended up not. Supposed to take over skee's shift to man matric fair booth but she msged me to say that meiyu's can take over her slot instead. Good...hehe...i'm still in bed anywayz :P
Supposed to play badminton with the IME gang....but i'm tired, all my shorts are still stinky and smells of the RAcE, and I dun have my favourite racket with me. haha...yes...excuses they are. My lazybones doesn feel active today :P
Supposed to watch brotherhood today IME gang...was on our way when we found out that the tics were all sold out...MAN...it's a monday...singaporeans are getting more life out there. So...ended up in Holl V for the 2nd time of the day.
Afternoon met up with martyn after ages in Holl V..hehe...got a pre-bdae treat from him :) Good old martyn...cool in his black polo and black pants, plus a pair of shades ;) Catching up a lil' when lawrence came along.....forever in a slumber state ;)
 
This is the matriculation day, saw a lot of freshies...reminded me of 2 years ago when I was one myself. I can't believe that time flies like nobody's business.
 
I feel wierd in fact. Everyone is preparing for school in 2 weeks time. Everyone is bidding for modules, everyone is moving in hostel while i'm moving OUT. Settled all my vacation hostel fees earlier on. The lady who was issuing my reciept can't help asking why am i moving out...haha.....Everyone is finally back from vacation when i'm just starting mine...hehe...YES, i'm goin home....finally.....And yes, it's time for me to start getting excited bout leaving for a foreign country, it's time for me to miss ppl and things around here...in fact I already did. The other day when i was walking from engin to central library and arts on a sunday afternoon, i actually feel the awww.....kinda feeling....haha...that's funny...i thought i can't wait to leave!  Also a lot of frens and ppl...prob won't get to c them for quite sometime after this week. Well...i'm anticipating the new environment, new ppl and new WEATHER...guess i will miss the sunny blue skies quite a bit.
 
After race, everything seemed to slow down. No more rushing, no more late nights meeting, no more racing with time. For once, after ages, i can be in my room at 8pm. Yea, it feels good but at the same time...something feels amiss....it must be the frenzy and craziness of race...must be everything bout it

Superb beautiful weather with lotsa beautiful clouds
Timeless- Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini.

Wasn't planning to blog today.......race 2 is officially over. It's a great sense of relief, great sense of achievement and great sense of satisfaction. Will talk more bout that when i'm not so tired.  The dark rings around my eyes are getting worse....It's never too hard for other ppl to guess that i didn have enuff sleep cuz my panda eyes gave it all away. 

Just feel like collapsing onto my bed the moment i smell bed, the moment i smell room. ...gosh...really tired man....only slept for prob like 7 hours for the past 2 nights. I can just sleep once i close my eyes.

Still, i'm blogging.... Read bing bro's blog....am kinda happy to know that he's actually reading my blog, and he actually got inspired to set up his own blog. Hey brother, nice one there....try explore more, use more pics and keep it nice. I like ur blog too!

My body system's shutting down....can feel it....eyes getting heavier...brain delay.......indication for time to sleep. Oh yeah!! internship ended....still haven upload the photos that we took outside IME and elvin's bdae photos.....anyway..the point is...tmr, there's NO WORK! muahahaha...but gotta wake up to man odac matric fair booth....i better ciaoz and shut down my pc b4 my own system does.......